My word, the second half of the year 2013 has been a bad one for movies. Sure, the first half had treats like Oz and Fast and Furious 6 but it seems all that’s left over for the second half are the R.I.P.D.’s and You’re Next’s and don’t even get me started on Sharknado. But you know what’s really a bummer? When a movie you were fairly certain would at least be good enough ends up being so bad that it has you scratching your head throughout the entirety of its overly-long run-time. Yes, the best phrase to summarize Riddick would be: “What the hell happened here!?”
The story takes place after the events of the previous entry in the series but rather quickly seems to distance itself from it (which is odd because usually good movies in a series distance themselves from the bad entries and not the other way around). For anyone just joining us, Richard B. Riddick is a tough-as-titanium-testicles, kick-ass-one-liner-spouting psychopathic anti-hero of a protagonist. What he isn’t is a weak, feeble, only-slightly psychopathic hero who raises and trains a puppy. Yes that’s right, he has a puppy in this movie. I’m really tempted to just end the review right here because those last two sentences pretty much tell all there is to know about how astoundingly awful this movie is.
The plot is basically the exact same as in Pitch Black. This might sound like a good thing but it isn’t. Even putting that aspect aside, it’s predictable even if you’ve only seen any other action movie involving the main character being held hostage. Each death is predictable and holds zero weight due to a painful lack of character development. Saying that not a single character is interesting in the slightest is an understatement, but what really has me baffled is how this script didn’t get a rewrite.
Boss: “So, let’s hear what your characters are like.”
Writer: “Well, there’s this girl who’s a lesbian and everybody wants to screw even though she’s ugly for some reason.”
Boss: “That not only doesn’t make sense but that’s not even a character.”
Writer: “I’m not done yet! I also have this guy who’s a father of a character from another movie who just wants to travel across the galaxy to ask Riddick a bunch of questions about said son.”
Boss: “…Okay, that really doesn’t make any sense. Why would he bother—“
Writer: “NO WAIT! I’m still not finished!” I’ll have a bunch of mercenaries who just want Riddick’s bounty because they like money!”
Boss: “Uhhh…”
Writer: “OH! I haven’t even told you what my plans are with Riddick yet!!! HE’S GONNA HAVE A PUPPY BECAUSE THEY’RE SO CUTE AND CUDDLY KIDS WILL LOVE IT!!”
Perhaps if this conversation had happened this writer might’ve been given the boot (preferably to the head) and we might’ve actually gotten a decent flick but no. Everything I just said is as bad as it sounds. Riddick not only gets a alien puppy of sorts for basically no reason, but also gets beaten up more than any of the side-characters and doesn’t really seem as amoral as he was in either of the previous movies. It’s as if the writer behind Riddick really had no idea of what makes Riddick as a character so interesting and bizarrely likeable.
You know how I mentioned how Riddick is one of those cool one-liner-spouting badasses? Well, not in this movie. The writing is atrocious. All the one-liners are neither funny nor awesome. Most of them involve cursing and even then they aren’t even remotely employed creatively.
The action sequences, something that The Chronicles of Riddick did pretty well, are pathetic and not even by comparison; the on-screen action is bland and there’s no good directing to save it. Speaking of the direction, it’s also horrible! There are tons of canted shots for absolutely no reason and are never memorable other than for being bad.
I guess I’ll conclude by stating the following: there’s a good portion of the movie near the middle where Riddick isn’t the main character anymore. You’re probably wondering how the hell that’s possible seeing as the freaking movie’s title is only his name, but, yeah, it starts following the boring and stupid side-characters. Because yeah, I paid to see a Riddick movie to watch crappy characters spout crappy dialogue. In summary, watching Riddick is like being incarcerated; it’s horrible to the point where you regret your previous decisions that made you wind up in this situation.
Pixcelation gives Riddick a 1/10.
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Pixcelation Entertainment 
I definitely agree with you on the redundancy of the plot!